Update!

Well Hello World!

It has been a crazy last few months... I know I have not been writing lately.  Over the past few weeks a few people have asked why.  I don't really know what the answer is...  I think a part of it was that I did not want to be bragging.  I feel like my life has change so much over the past year.  To the point that I do kind of feel "too" lucky.  This can not be really happening right?

I am going to take a minute a recap a few of the most important moments:

1) I went to my Neurologist on Tuesday for a check up.   My doctor at Rush University Hospital was so amazing.  He first was so excited to hear that I was completely off of my medicine.  I mean EVERYTHING!! No more of any type of medication.  This is just so different to a year ago at this time when I was having break through pain on 13 pills and a 24 hour fentanyl patch.  I had a few questions about break through pain.  I have had a few days where I have been able to manage the pain.  But still get shocks of pain down my face.  Two weeks ago when I had the stomach flue and was puking I had it pretty bad.  But I refused to take any medicine other than naproxen.  It went away after I stopped puking.  Then with the weather having PMS lately I have had some breakthrough pain.  I wanted to make sure that this was normal and not out of the ordinary.  He said that it seemed normal but did call the Neurosurgeon just to check.  They both feel like it is some what normal. So this is all exciting news.

2) Yesterday I went to Springfield with my 7th grade students.  Last year I was in so much pain I don't even remember certain parts of it.  This trip was not perfect by any means I had a migraine and a few jabs but nothing that made me too scared.  All the students had such a good time and I had an even better time actually getting to talk to them and hang out with them on the bus ride and through out the day.

3) On Wednesday we had Dinner dance with our students.  I could actually jump around and be silly with the students and did not have to pay for it the next day or that night.  It was just so relaxing and fun!

4) Today I gave a twitter presentation to teachers that work at my school.  This alone would have been enough to set off my face before.  Due to the fact that I was really stressed and nervous about it.   However, I was completely fine and had so much fun with my co-workers.

5)  In the last few weeks I have done many fun things but going to one of my best friend's Bachelorette Weekends had to be one of the most special.  Now, I would have gone no matter what before even when I was very sick, because she is one of my best friends and I would never miss that.  But I would have been scared out of my mind.  I would have been so worried about holding people back or having all of my medicine or having my face flare up and not able to talk, dance, or get out of bed even,  It was just such a different experience.  We were about 2 hours outside of Chicago when I realized I did not even bring medicine in case I had a flare up.  I did not pack anything! It was crazy and to tell you the truth a little scary.  I was going to be five hours away with no way of getting to my medicine.  We went out Friday night hard and I stayed awake and had fun with my friends.  I even realized that we were missing one of our friends when we got into the cars that picked us up.  Friends that have TN know how crazy that is.  After a drink on all of the medicine I would never have been aware enough to notice that we were missing someone.  Then to wake up the next morning fine and to day drink and hang out at the Derby all day was crazy.  I did not have to take a nap or stop talking or hanging out with my friends.  I don't know if people noticed this before I tried to be so subtle but when I knew I had a long day of talking I would take breaks where I would force myself not to talk.  I knew that if I talked too much I would live to regret it.  I know that some people might still wish I did this.  I can be a bit of a talker! hahaha But really the weekend was so amazing and I felt so lucky to help my friend celebrate her special time!

High School Besties! 

The Blushing soon to be bride and I. 

Rachel, Britt, Myself, and MC

Christine and I

The Derby! 

All 19 of us! 

6) Two Weekends ago I also got to meet one of my amazing friends baby Colin! He was born a few months ago but she lives all the way in Miami.  She came in for the week to introduce Colin to her family and friends.  So I woke up all the girls on Sunday morning and made them leave KY so I could drive back in time to meet baby Colin (PS I thought that they all might kill me!).  It was such a wonderful day getting time to hang out with all of my Alpha Phi sisters and their husbands and children! We are getting so old that we are adding babies to the family.  Let me tell you that when I became a part of these girls families I really lucked out.  They have been there for me through all of this.  Holding my hand, telling me it will be ok, yelling at me when I was being ridiculous, but even more importantly listening to me cry and understanding that it was what I really needed.  Their husbands have become brothers to me.  I would do anything for any of them, just like I know they would do for me! They even make fun of me like brothers do, and let me tell you that on Sunday when I was so tired and maybe a little hungover from the weekend it did NOT stop.  But I loved every single second of it.  I had deep conversations and special moments with each one! 

Colin and I!

The whole goofy family! 

7) This past weekend we also celebrated my husbands 30th birthday.  It's the first year that I have felt like I was totally able to plan the event by myself.  We had a trolley of 30 people and then went to the bar after! It was amazing to just drive around and laugh and celebrate how wonderful my husband is and has been to me over the years.  He really and truly has done so much the whole 9 years that we have been together but especially this past year.  Watching your wife have exploratory brain surgery and having it all about her for a long time can not be easy on anyone! So last weekend it was all about him! It felt great not talking about my face or how I was doing and really and truly focusing on how amazing my husband and our friends are! I love them all so very much! Both of our families were also represented and that made it even more fun!

All 30 of us! 

Mom, Dad, Myself, and my Brother! 

The husband and I! 

I continue to be a lucky girl that is just figuring things out one day at a time.  But also trying to remember to live the life that was on hold for a little bit too long.  To explore the parts of life that I just didn't fully understand before, and to let things go that I have no control over! 

Love you all, and until next time! 

Not the best start.....

So I said I would post twice a week and I think that the reality of that is not so great. Why don't I just say as much as I can, and we call it even.  

This week ISAT's has begun in my school it is the slow torturing of children that I like to call hell for two weeks a year now.  It is the last year of ISAT's but no testing is not going away it is just getting harder and longer! Oh golly I am just so excited.  It was interesting giving the test with out being in pain you really see and feel how much the kids are suffering.  I wish that I could just do some sort of magic and make it so that they could all pass! None teacher readers I will now step off my teacher pedestal so you don't get too board.

I have read three amazingly trashy romance novels this week and have loved every second of it  Not crashing at 8:00 pm really does have its upsides.  I get to watch a few more shows and stay up and see my husband maybe even eat dinner with him.  I mean come on it is great! Now I am in no way saying that I am staying up late but 9:30 or 10:00 is pretty late to me.  I used to come home from school and just crash. 

This Saturday is when everyone is celebrating St Patty's Day parties.  I am so excited to be "Present" at those parties that we will be going to on Saturday in more ways than one.  I will be present just by being there yes.  But what I really mean is that my mind and soul will be there.  I will be able to have conversations while not thinking.  "Does this person see how much pain I am in?", "Did they just see me flinch", "How much more talking can I do with out bursting in tears."  See before my surgery these thoughts were running through my head and so much more.  Sometimes it would even be how much longer do I need to stay to make sure I do not insult anyone.  I have done the IRISH fade (or Irish Exit if you would rather) many times and gotten away with it for a very long time.  (Not sure how great that is... hahah) My fraternity son get pretty mad and has called me out on several occasions.  But you see my dear friends, I was merely trying to leave with out causing a scene or telling everyone I was just in too much pain to sit there with a smile on my face.  But still I have perfected something my ancestors created many moons ago! This thought makes me giggle I can just see my Great Grandpa just walking out of a pub and not saying boo about it.  The good old people of County Cork most like enjoyed it very much.  I did just try and research where the term Irish Exit came from and it only brought up Urban Dictionary.  So please if you know it's origin do share.  It would be such a fun thing to share on Saturday.

Well thanks for reading! If you made it to this point you deserve a shot of Jameson.  I did get on to a little bit of a ramble.

The beginning is a very good place to start!

Today March 4, 2014 is the day before my 28th birthday.  

Please let me start by saying  I am not writing this to make you feel bad for me, I am writing this only to help people that go through what I did or something similar.  To live with uncontrollable pain everyday of your life is a type of hell that I hope not even my worse enemy experiences.

Let me start by giving a little bit of my background.  For the past nine years I have suffered with Trigeminal Neuralgia everyday.  It has been better and then worse. I have been hospitalised several times to no avail except frustration and confusion. I have had four nerve blocks on the nerve.  The first one worked great and helped me to control the pain that I was in everyday and allowed the medicine to work again. The second worked but did not work as well as the first one.  The third nerve block again worked but did not have the effectiveness that I needed.  I still was having break through pain everyday.   The forth one year ago made it worse and actually had complications.  They tried doing the procedure again a week later but it again made it worse.  I was in pain everyday and doing anything became impossible.  I lost friendships, time with my family, friends, my time with my students became very challenging.  It depended on how my face was the dictated if I could even speak during the class period.  With middle school students this can be very challenging but my students knew that I was suffering and that, that killed me more than anything.  

Last spring I was in so much pain that scary SCARY thoughts started to enter my head.  Ones that I do not want to put in words even now.  I was so scared that I told my family and my doctor that I needed help.  I needed people to make sure that I was making the most educated decision.  My doctor told me that I needed to see a new neurologist for a second opinion and to see if there was a medicine that I did not try yet.  I was on a 24 hour pain patch at this time and also taking a cocktail of medicine that equated to 13 pills a day.  I went to the new doctor with one simple question.  How could I live the rest of my life?  I knew that I wanted to have children with my husband and had many plans for my future that had been put on hold due to my face pain.  After a long doctors appointment the doctor told me that he could answer my question.  He told me that I had tried all of the medicine that they give for TN so a different cocktail was not going to help me.  He then told me that if I wanted to have children myself I would not be able to be on any medicine for my condition so unless I considered surgical options I would not be having children.  To say that is a blow to your system is a vast understatement.  He then made an appointment for me with the Neurosurgeon.  I decided I had to stop letting my condition run my life so I went to Europe for the summer.  It was an amazing experience that I think helped me to make the decision I did make when I got back.  I realized that I had been suppressing so much of who I was so that I did not fall in to a darker place.  I was not living life I was just going through it like a zombie, or a person whom was already dead.

I met with the Neurosurgeon he looked and he looked at my MRI and said that he could not see anything that was pressing on my nerve.  He said though that it did not mean that there was not something that just did not show up.  After listening to my story and also hearing my life goals.  He came to the same conclusion that the Neurologist came to, SURGERY.  He gave me three options and not one of them sounded great but Exploratory Brain Surgery had the least side effects and repercussions.  I decided that day that I would do the Exploratory Brain Surgery or MVD.  I had the surgery on July 29, 2013.  A week after meeting with the Neurosurgeon. They told me that I could wake up and still be in the same amount of pain with the extra pain of having just had brain surgery.  On July 29 they found that I had one blood vessel attached to a the nerve and one the other side of it I had another blood vessel pushing so hard that it had dented the nerve.  This was why I was in so much pain.  

If you would like to read my blog about the surgery and my recovery please visit www.thesummerofabby.blogspot.com  I blogged as much as I could.  I was lucky my life has changed so much I am now off ALL pain medicine and patches.  I am no longer taking ANY of the 13 pills I was taking prior to surgery.  I have my life back!

I am going to write this blog about life after TN. I am going to write about what it is like not to have pain everyday.  Now sure I still get some pain and I have surgery pain often but it all pales in comparison to the pain I was in before.  I will write about some of the recovery pain I am having and about flair up because I want to be honest with the TN community and my family and friends.  But this will not be a drag to read I promise!

My commitment it to blog twice a week! That is my birthday goal to myself! So life here goes!!!

This weekend I did things that I would never have been able to do while suffering from TN.  On Friday I went and saw Second City in Chicago. Now I say that I would not have been able to do that before because I would have fallen asleep due to all of the medicine. As soon as the lights went out so would Abby.   It was so fun and my husband and I both laughed so unbelievably hard!

On Saturday we went to the Blackhawks game at Soldier Field.  It was cold and windy and I stayed the whole game.  If you suffer from TN you know that this is an unbelievable change.  I did have slight surgery pain but I think that was just the plate getting to cold.  I had no TN pain and I could not be more excited! It was a chance of a life time and my husband and I had so much fun!

So here goes let the Wild Rumpus begin!